Building Relationships, Commitment and Love - Starting With W

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter W or Z. The focus is on walk away, wits, and zeal.

W is for walk away. Sometimes the best answer to an insult is to walk away. Your interlocutor may simply be looking for trouble and is willing to settle for you and settle things with you, even if you are merely an innocent bystander. Don't stand by, even innocently. Just walk away. Like any advice, this advice is good when it works but it won't always work. I remember like yesterday an incident that happened to me decades ago. I was walking (not away from anything) when a truck driver almost hit me. I yelled at him. He got out of his truck. I was so scared that my feet were glued to the pavement. When he saw me hold my ground he decided that I was an unknown quantity and went back to his truck and silently drove away. I stayed silent too. And walked away.

W is for wits. Use your wits. Once again it's story time. A friend of mine was interviewed for a job as a system analyst that would have meant both a promotion as well as a healthy salary increase. The guy who did the technical interview would be his boss. When my buddy answered a technical question the interviewer replied, "That's not what it says in my book." Had he used his wits he might have said, "My book says blah, blah, blah. Tell me why your answer is better." My pal was then at the beginning of his career and felt he needed a boss from whom he could learn something. So he used his wits and turned down the offer.

Z is for zeal. Don't be half-hearted or three-quarters-hearted in doing what you have to do. Show some pep and some zeal. Be zealous which is not a mispronunciation of the word zealous. Your energy may rub off on your counterparts whether co-workers or others. Then you can take things a little easier.

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine Italian, French, or other wine, accompanied by the right foods and spend time with his wife and family. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new love and relationships site celebrating mostly spiritual and on occasion physical love at You will find a wide range of articles devoted to various aspects of love, and a special collection of love quotes in both English and French (with translations.) Check out his global wine website at